It's been a big week for Luke:
Waffles the guinea pig met his reward on Saturday night (that means he is dead). Luke discovered him when he went up to bed. The yell for "MOM!" was the tone you hear as a parent when you know something is really wrong. Thank goodness Jim was home. I'm not so good with rodents. Blood, vomit, bones: bring it. Sand, dirt, gushing water: I'm the girl! Rodents: not.
I actually ran from the room into mine. Calling Luke to come with me.
You know. Because it would be safer to talk in my room about Waffles lying in his cage all stiffened with his mouth agape and his lips pulled back to reveal pointy teeth. A death snarl. His feet were up in the air...
Are you totally feeling faint right now?
I'm telling you, it was horrible! My reaction was so appropriate (just ask me).
Jim, on the other hand (thank goodness there is another hand) was cool as a cucumber. The picture of manliness. He soothed and comforted Luke right there in that room. Then he told me to get a grip (all in a kindly tone) and he removed Waffles from the premises.
I moved into full Mommy mode then. I can lay on the comfort when there's not a prostrate rodent in the room.
Luke's lobbying techniques for a new pet include already choosing a charming name. "Mittens". He is pleading for the arrival of his beloved new pet, Mittens. What kind of a pet Mittens is depends on the time of day and how agitated his mother evidently is. He keeps it small when I appear bothered, and ups the ante when Luke determines I am in a relaxed and unassuming mood. Somehow in Luke's mind this must indicate I need a stirring. Like my lack of vigilance might somehow tip the scales in his favor on short notice.
On another front:
Jim and I met with his neurologist today and received the results of his 24 hour ambulatory EEG. There were irregular brain waves/activity in the front right part of his brain. I have no technological jargon for this. The doctor indicated the level of irregularity and the positioning of the irregularity is typical with his type and presentation of seizures.
One way to understand it is that his brain is akin to a village. When one of the residents doesn't like something that is happening, that resident goes and starts gabbing about it to another resident. They get worked up and start making phone calls and firing off emails and organizing meetings. Soon, a bunch of "residents" from the village show up and stage a protest. They want to march in the streets. There is a lot of talking, yelling and many people milling about clogging up traffic, etc.
The seizures occur when the residents are all gathered and creating mayhem. The "talking, yelling, having a strike" situation.
The job of the medication is to keep the "organizing" to a minimum. Phone calls individually are allowed. The residents can meet one and one and have a nice coffee chat. But no serious social unrest or upheval. No marching in the streets with placards and unseemly yelling. :)
What the doctor saw on the EEG shows typical irregular activity that is being controlled. It is spaced throughout the day, not in a specific timeframe. It is irregular activity that isn't escalating to seizure level.
It is good information to have, but diesn't really tell us much. In other words, no new news.
So. Is that good or bad?
Jim and I went to lunch to process. The good news is that Luke is not having seizures all night that we don't know about. The medication is keeping the brain activity controlled. And now we know his brain wave patterns are typical for the kind of epilepsy/seizures they suspected he is experiencing.
Bad? Nothing is really bad. I'm just having a little bit of a hard time. Like all I want to do is get in bed and read a novel and hide. Very helpful reaction. :)
I struggle with thinking about my sweet Luke walking about with his brain firing irregularly. Just the idea of it, not what it really means in scientific language or reality. I just don't want his brain to do that! And I think somewhere in me, since his first EEG was "normal" I thought perhaps all the seizure activity was related to sleep and he'd be safe during the day. Well, he isn't any less safe now than he's been all the time. So I just need to remember that it is just as it was yesterday or on January 3. It is what it is.
I confess that somehow it was hard to hear for me, though. I haven't really thought it through, so my guess is that after mulling for a bit God will sort and sift my own feelings and thoughts and I'll reconcile this new information and feel at peace. I just need a little time.
That is all there is to report. Nothing major. And that's good news. So we continue with the same dose of meds., etc and we don't have to go back to see the Dr. until the middle of summer. And that is good!
Thanks for your prayers! And your love.
Luke is doing great, he would say. And that's what matters! Lacrosse season is about to start, school is nearing its end for the year, the sandbox is officially open for business and was gleefully flooded on Sunday, and there are golf clubs calling Luke's name in the garage. Sounds like a full plate to me!
We're grateful for it.
Love you all,
Sara
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