Emma day remembering

Greetings from the bathroom in room 520!  I gave up and came in here with the computer to write a little bit.  I've been laying awake in bed, peacefully praying over our family and thinking of all of you. 

 

Jenn, I so want to hear all about homecoming!  If you have time, please send me an email with a photo!  I tried looking on facebook, because I thought Abbey and Molly would have photos up, but it is blocked for me.  Ack! 

 

The hours just fly by here.  I really thought I'd have more time to post, but don't!  Yesterday during Emma's naptime, Cooper and Jeb were using the computer for homework.  Jim and I ended up counting out our impressive stack of RMB on the bed in their room.  It is so weird to carry so much money around.   We also began a great game to Scrabble on Jim's iphone.  I'm really good when I cheat. :)

 

I know there are huge gaps in what we have shared.  I thought I would go back to Emma Day before I write about yesterday.

 

Emma Day!:
We went in the morning to exchange money at the bank and procure some provisions from the grocery.  Our guide, Michael, came with us to do this.  Since it was Sunday, we could not take out the full amount we needed, but were able to get around that by each of us taking out a chunk of money.  When they asked how old Cooper was and Jim answered, our guide shushed him and although they used his passport to photocopy, etc, I still sort of wondered if you didn't have to be 18 or something.  But we got our money exchanged and all ready for Tuesday when we needed to give a huge chunk of it away in fees to China.

 

After the bank, we went to a grocery.  It was a pretty walk around about a quarter of the lake to get there.  Since it was Sunday, many people were out walking and enjoying the beautiful day with their families and friends.  It was a festive atmosphere with vendors selling food, balloons, etc along the pathway.  The boys thought the encounter with the woman selling live crabs over the bridge was cool.  You  select the live crab of your choice, bring it back to your hotel room to live in the tub, and then take it home to USA to live.  Kidding.   You pick a crab and she steams it for you to eat.  They were tied up and just laying on the ground in a pile. 

 

The store was large, with many floors.  We must have looked like unhealthy Americans.  We bought bottled water, Coke and Fanta for the boys, chips and cookies for the boys (okay, Jim and I ate a bag of chips…they are little ones!), noodle bowls, dried mangoes, roasted peanuts and a few other items that are escaping my memory.  There were piles of the coolest and yummiest looking produce.  I wished we had our wok in the room and could buy things to cook.  The food here is so good!  But at a grocery when you are living out of a hotel room, and you can't eat fresh produce, your cart looks a bit wonky.  To say the least.  I think a quiet moan might have escaped my lips as we wandered past the produce aisle.  A cabbage has never looked so good!

 

We carried out bags back around the lake to the hotel.  The walk was so nice, and it felt great to get out and move.  Our guide is charming and funny.  Jim was telling him the Jeb and Cooper run cross country and Michael regaled us with a story of his running days in college and a time afterward.  He said he was a very good runner in college.  He ran distance and always came in first.  He loved to train, and was sad after college that he didn't have a chance to race anymore.  One day, when he was first doing adoption guiding trips, he was carrying the donation for the orphanage.  He had 20,000 yuan in the left pocket of his jeans and 20,000 yuan in the right pocket of his jeans.  This was an enormous sum of money, and he was being careful.  He noticed a man following him, and then suddenly heard the sound of pounding footsteps…and Michael became the Chinese chariots of fire!  He said he took off running, and was so happy because now he could finally race someone again.  Well, the robber needed to quit smoking and train a bit, as Michael outdistanced him easily, at which point he started mocking the man saying, "Hurry!  You must hurry up!" .  This went on for awhile, until the robber gave up and Michael got back to his hotel and promptly celebrated his victory by calling the police.  Mercy!  We were laughing at his glee in recounting the story and at the story itself.  He has told us a few more stories like this and it is fun to see this side of him.  He is very serious with Emma, and a bit curt, so it helps to know he is a very warm man.

 

Once we arrived back at the hotel, we said goodbye to Michael who told us to meet him on the third floor of the hotel at 3:30 to receive EMMA!  Oh, my stars.  It was about 1pm now.  What to do?

 

Room service.  We shamelessly ordered four bacon cheeseburgers!  The woman told us they didn't have those, but could make them with crab.  Um…okay.  Then they called back to say they had three hamburgers and would make the fourth a crab.  Jim was kind of looking forward to a crabby patty.  Well, when the meal arrived, it quickly became clear that what she said was "club sandwich" and what I heard was "crab sandwich".  We all had such a laugh.  And I know you are probably readint this thinking that it isn't that funny, but to us it was hilarious.  I think we were a bit punchy at that point.  The cheeseburgers were honestly SO good.  And the club sandwich looked great, but had beautiful fresh produce all over it that couldn't be easily separated out.  So three cheeseburgers were quicly consumed.

 

Cooper then lobbies for bowling.  There is a bowling alley in the basement of our hotel, and if you look on our pictures of yesterday you can see it and us in all our glory!  Emma is quite the bowler!  I reminded him we were in labor, and laboring women do not bowl.  It was right then that we realized we could see the drive of the front of our hotel from our room window.  Each taxi, bus, van and car that drove in…was then scouted out by four American sets of eyes!  We sat on the couch and on the window ledge and had so much fun watching for Emma. 

 

To me, it felt so right to wait for her with such expectation.  We talked about how even if we didn't see her, to be able to tell her of the day we waited for hours watching out the window for her would be a precious story to recount.  We watched each and every vehicle that came in!  And in retrospect, realized we did see two of the children who were adopted along with Emma!  How neat is that?!  Sitting there all together helped pass the time quickly, and is such a special memory.  We had sweet time together. 

 

We then gathered and prayed for Emma and us, the time to come and what would be.  We opened with Scripture and closed with Scripture and to my mouth and ears the words were sweet. Joining hands with Cooper and Jeb in that moment defies words.  They were here to stand witness to God's mighty work in joining our family together.  Together, we all watched as He brought a precious girl to her family, and folded her into our arms forever and always. 

 

My dear friend, Christine, had stayed up drinking tea, coffee and other cafffeineated beverages to record the time for us.  We had Jeb trained on calling from my phone and were sending her photos to post.  It was so fun to be in the delivery room with her in such a special way! 

 

We made our way down to the third floor where we were met by two other families!  This was a total surprise to us.  They are with Lifeline, and one family is from Japan (they are originally from Iowa but are stationed in Japan with the military) and another from Alabama.  The family from Japan adopted a darling baby girl who is their second child.  They are here with their two year old son.  Their arms are now full!  The Alabama couple adopted a 2 year old girl who is adorable.  She is their fourth child.  They have three kids at home, one of whom is adopted from Guatemala.  We watched them all unite with their children in a conference room.  So surreal.  Their was a third child, a sweet little boy who was adopted by a couple we think are from Europe.  We didn't see them, though, just the tiny little boy.  The mood was oddly relaxed.  The two girls were very quiet.  Shut down and in shock, I would say. 

 

Where was Emma?  She was fifteen minutes away from us in a cab on the way from the train station.  She took a bullet train with two caregivers from her orphanage to Fuzhou. 

 

Suddenly, after waiting and waiting, there she was!  She walked right into the room and came over to us.  She smiled and engaged, and we were struck with how tall she looked!  And sturdy!  I had expected her to be so thin.  She is thin, just not the unhealthy thin I had in my mind.  And she promptly marched all over the room looking at everyone and everything.  That was awkward, and a bit hard.  Thank goodness for food, a backpack stash of things, and cameras to draw her attention. 

 

Cooper and Jeb helped set up shop on the floor, and the three of us began interacting with her while Jim filled out paperwork.  I don't have any idea how long that all took.  It was so out of body.  Emma was calm, didn't seem scared at all.  We had a cell phone and our guide later told us she thought she was placing a real call as she opened it up and said, "Hello?  I am here.  I'm with the people.  It is good".  And then she couldn't figure out why no one was responding on the other end of the phone!  She was perplexed and tried to make the call again.  How sweet is that? 

 

We took a photo with the nannies and our family, and they had their own camera and wanted pictures too.  That was a lovely thing to be able to do.  We also sat with them to ask questions.  That didn't quite go as well as I'd hoped, as it is a pressured environment and hard to translate between us, the guide and the nannies.  I was so glad we knew that in the orphanage they spoke a dialect and not mandarin as we were insistent with Michael that we get the phrases she would use for the basic needs of being hungry or thirsty, needing to go to the bathroom, being tired,e tc.  He was at first telling us she said those things in Mandarin and he would just tell us.  We said no and made him ask.  Suddenly I think he understood why we were so set on getting those, because the words the nannies told him for one of those phrases was a word that sounded like "trumpet" in Mandarin.  She had very different words for things.  He says she can understand Mandarin very well, but honestly when he speaks to her she just looks at him kind of blankly.  Maybe she does understand, but I kind of wonder.

 

YuXiao had been blowing bubbles and her hands were sticky.  She wanted them washed.  The nanny took her to go to the bathroom, and I promptly followed.  No one is taking my girl out of the room without me!  I kind of quietly barged right along, and as the nanny washed one hand, I washed the other.  Then I went over to get paper and dried them both.  My first time to do caretaking as her mother.  There was something so symbolic of her old caregivers and her new mother doing this together for her.  And I had just read a description of a similar encounter from a friend of Christine's who did the same thing with a foster mother.  It gave me courage to step right in there, and I feel like the Lord had me read that story just days before so that I would know in the moment what an ordained piece of time he set apart for us in that bathroom.  Her caregiver then took her to the toilet.  It was a western toilet and so I was able to see how she helped her go.  When she was done, I took her hand and escorted her right back to the sink to wash up.  Her nanny smiled and nodded encouragement, and then she went in to the stall and I took Emma's hand and walked back into the conference room.

 

Once we were back, the nannies suddenly (at least to Jim and myself it was sudden.  We had no warning) just walked over to YuXiao, said something short and walked out of the room.  I was so sad.  I know it isn't their way, but I'd really wished the goodbye could have been a bit slower with someone explaining to her what was happening.  She panicked and began a keening cry that just tore at our hearts.  Jim was stuck filling our paperwork, and YuXiao was trying to break out of the room and run after her nannies.  I didn't want to be the one to restrain her!  I was desperate to not have to stop her and make her think I was the one keeping her from them.  In a moment born of sheer worry, I took her hand and let her walk down the hall to look for the caregivers.  She was crying so loudly and calling for them.  The hotel workers were visibly upset and distressed by us.  I didn't really care about them.  I was so worried and sad for my daughter.  And I know how confused and scared she was.  I finally scooped her up in my arms and tried to walk back to the room.  She had NO desire to e in my arms and fought me to get down.  Somehow, she let me sort of propel her down the hall back to the room.  I then interrupted the paperwork and had Jim switch places with me so he could be bad cop, as we'd agreed.  So important for our initial bonding. 

 

I sat with these papers in front of me to fill out, and I was blank. I couldn't remember Jim's job, how much money we made, our address.  I was blank.  So Jim is now by the door with a screaming child and is also having to field my questions!  What a royal mess!  That's childbirth for you.  Beautiful and messy, hard and intense.  I suppose that is why it is called labor.  And this was a labor of the deepest love.  Our poor daughter. 

 

Our guide was telling us she was yelling, "I want to go home!"  over and over.  Oh, sweet Jesus, help us.  While it broke my heart that she was so scred and sad, I also knew this was important time for her to mourn and cry.  It was good that she could cry and grieve in this way. 

 

Michael surely saved the day by asking me if I had food for her.  Food!  I'd totally forgotten.  I pulled out food, and she instantly stopped crying.  He told us to feed her a lot, as that would teach her we are taking care of her and she can trust us.  He said, "food, drink, toys".   And never were truer or wiser words spoken.

 

We scooped up all our stuff, now shoved in a variety of bags, and Michael came up to the hotel room with us.  It was so stressful.  YuXiao was so very afraid, and so very brave.  Strong and courageous girl. 

 

The next few hours were a whirl of bubbles, noodles, bananas, oranges, yogurt, water, milk, dolls, coloring, pretend phones, and going potty again and again.  I knew her stress levels of cortisol were so high she was repeatedly needing to go potty.  And I also knew how much she would learn to trust me as I again and again, kindly and lovingly took care of her needs in this way.  I would so gently pull her little pants up and pat her dear little bottom.  We would wash hands each time and I soaped them up and would make a big prouction out of getting the water just the right temperature.  She was beginning to emotionally walk toward me.  Little baby steps of trust forged over food and the bathroom.  When we fed her, I made sure to piece by piece hand her bits of the banana, or help wipe her mouth after noodles.  She liked the attention and would point to the corner of her mouth for me to wipe it.  Jim and the boys were fully present, and yet did a beautiful job of staying a bit in the background of this caregiving and mothering.  Staying in the background and yet staying fully present is a tricky role, and they all did it beautifully .  They were warrior knights for their sister.  My eyes fill with tears now remembering.

 

As each hour passed, YuXiao became a bit calmer and less "busy".  Her anxiety and stress was really showing through her busy-ness.  We just let her bang around through things, and had purposely limited the toys we were giving her.  We knew she would easily be overwhelmed by too many things.  She had two backpacks, one from us and one from the orphanage.  She would put things from one to the other.  Loved to organize.

 

At this point we are all feeling undone with exhaustion.  We Skyped home and Luke and Anna me their new sister with Gogo and Pa!  How amazing is that?!?! 

 

I gave Emma a short bath, which she loved.  Rubbed lotion into her sweet arms and legs, skipping her tummy and back in order not to overwhelm her, and let her pick out which jammies she wanted to wear.  She really liked that!  She didn't want to be barefoot, so we put socks on too.  Smart girl!

 

It wasn't too late now, but we were all just beat.  I think it was around 9pm.  I settled Emma into our bed with her pile of treasures and Jim and the boys went into the other room to hang out for a bit.  Emma and I had the best time with her sunglasses, vocab cards (pictures of emotions, actions, etc on one side with translations in mandarin on the other…they have saved us!), phone (I'm sure she had a lot to say to the people she thought she was calling on the other end of the line), doll, etc.  It was quite a pile!  I knew to just leave it with her.  Important for her to have that control and security.  She had three little candies she brought with her in her pocket from the orphanage.  I thought she would save them forever.  At 10pm she unwraps one, and eats it (and yes, I let her and acted happy that it was just the best thing in the world to eat a candy at 10pm!).  A few minutes later she unwraps another one….and puts it into my mouth.  Oh, the sweetness of her. 

 

The rest of the night went like that.  We fell asleep for a mere 2-3 hours, and then she was up, sitting in the dark playing with her things.  No more sleep at all.  It was sheer stress and anxiety.  Yet she was calm, and played quietly.   It was purposeful play, and reassuring herself that her things were there.  And, it was a long night!

At 3am, I woke Jim up.  I think I was delirious myself at this point.  I realized I was sleeping and playing with her at the same time.  He took a little shift, which we hadn't planned on but I really needed to sleep for a few hours.  They had a ball.  They watched numerous sporting events (she prefers watching sports to cartoons, says Jim.  I'd agree, she is supremely indifferent to the cartoons), played with the gertie ball and had a beautiful bonding moment over a tipped chair and a bruised knee.

 

Morning dawned and so began our first full day together as a family in adjoining hotel rooms in Fuzhou, China.

 

Wow.

 

A day we will never forget, and will remember for YuXiao as the years pass and she grows.  The day our faithful Lord completed His good work of knitting us together.  This time physically.   Our gratefulness to Him and awe of His loving-kindness and faithfulness are complete.  I long for the day I stand before Him and am able to express in full what my heart sings to Him in spirit now.  Our "Jade Dawn" is in our arms and firmly planted in our family forevermore.  Thanks be to God.